xthexanteaterx (xthexanteaterx) wrote in darkestaddme,

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just venting.....

i feel really bad because i want to cause physical harm to the guy who is letting me and my bf stay with him....the thing is he is soo mean to me...he is always calling me names and saying hurtful things...he tells my bf not to mary him, because i'm just trying to trick him into marrying me and that the child i'm carrying is not his...this is not true...but it really hurts hearing him say this kind of stuff all the time...i am a very kind and generous person and i try not to let words bother me...but i keep my feelings bottled up inside of me until...pop...i explode...i think i'm going to explode soon...this is not good because then i, my bf and my unborn child will be homeless...the thing that really hurt today is, i was supposed to have my ultrasound today...i've been looking forward to this for a long time...and i let him and his gf use the last 5 dollars on my bridge card so that they could get money for gas for my appointment...then today he decides he doesn't want to take me...i was really heartbroken because i really want to see my baby...now i have to wait almost another whole month before i can possibly have an ultrasound....i really want to say a lot of things to him but i can't, or i will really be in a lot of trouble...and i feel bad because he is lettign us live here free of charge but he just is really hurtful to me...i don't know what to do....posting this in all my communites to see what feedback i can get...love andrea
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